I'm not well 2day. I'm down or out of it or disconnected ( Read more... )

when hypomanic, agitatedly depressed or neurotically anxious, my thoughts are too many ( Read more... )

i feel completely disengaged from myself

while i sit here, an image of myself superimposes itself upon me - neither being me but just pictures of me.

i am not here or there but both here and there.

***************
the more they up my mood stabilizer, the more disconnected i become.

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i dry heave -
produce no food
just burps and spits of bile
and juice.
thoughts swim wordless-
unattached to language.
trees are cardboard
people are mannequins.
music is flattened
cars are props.
i dry heave -
ipecac but make nothing
just drips and hiccups of saliva
and blood.
my fingers type blank spaces.
there is no pain
for pain creates words.
( Read more... )